Journal Entry from August 22 2012

This hazardous ordeal we delve into in our moments of greatest strife sickens the limp chickens that await their moment in the bun. Lacerations we crave then forsake for the sake of a heavy stake in the world-bearing mother. I daily witness the transformations of trivial forms and smother manyfold more dying children than rotted in the holds of Dachau. These inner innocents that clamor for the day of their exhuming, to which deity can they pray for the relinquishing of this evil way? I am daily shocked to see these feebles totter and teeter on the road in a state of disarray, poisoned and wounded as they scatter into the menacing gray. This troubled time teems with ten thousand terrible tragedies, seeming to swallow these wallowing ghouls back into the nether from whence they spawned, only to be regurgitated for another decade of decadent frolicking. These highs and lows we blast asunder, surfing crest after crest and sulking while trapped under, do we tread swampy water or spread wings to the rafters? I ask you all who have followed me here to this most incoherent of places: what is this soul-stagnant inertia binding us firm to our trauma, and why continue on closed-eyed and hard-hearted? My energy is on the rise, in pursuit of the highest crown of this curling knotted reptile. This gnarled and hampered tangle of channels signals its letting up. These electric tingles mingle in merry and scary company, congregate transiently to lay down a pattern that is sustained for a moment to be changed slowly. This mind’s binding ability grows worlds out of electromagnetic radiation. And suddenly the dream becomes too real to be seen through. Not only plot but veil with it thickens. No more beclouding of the inner eye is written for me. No more striving after slim pickings, rotten and poisonous in any case, can I afford to be. Simply live and let live, and let fools be fools. It is not of the ego that this sentiment arrives pratingly, rather of its dismantling and deflation, in the realization that I have been more foolish than any. The time has ripened for the arising of the real wisdom that lies buried in the bosom of all honest seekers. Remove the veil and all shall be revealed. What this entails is discipline that trains the stabilization of this dispersed mentality, firmness of gaze and resolve, sobriety of mind and body, radiance of heart and soul, and restraint of tongue and arm. Is it too much to ask that these masked masses sit quietly for a few moments of stillness before and after each day, bidding a warm welcome and solemn farewell to the fiery furnace above raining rays? But turbulence and storms hasten to overwhelm the soft and fragile-boned, to scatter and confuse the already over-inflamed and throbbing. In these panic-stricken days, we can only watch as from afar and wonder what hidden purpose these mysterious meanderings foretell. In these heart-clenching moments that constrict us like too many vice-grips of desire, we must do our best to release this disease, but smile ever so gently at the tormented animal when we find this cannot be done. This smile permeates through from a higher realm that views the world through the lens of eternity. Thus, we are revealed to be winged and radiant in our heaven-bound soar, complete and perfect in every possible way; for cannot magnificent rainbows be cast from the sorry light that passes through a tear streaking down a woman’s face? 

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